i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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