i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
What a dumb baby whore.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
