Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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