Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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