using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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