Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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