you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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