I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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