Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
