Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
