u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
