Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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