I'm really into asian looking animals
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
