Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
