Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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