I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
