i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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