Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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