I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
