hotel room ftw
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Randomize
