She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
