you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
