My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
