Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
