You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
