dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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