To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
