Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
