watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
