Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
