It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
