I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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