dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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