You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
