Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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