I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
