similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize