I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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