one might say we're banned from that church
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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