No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
