i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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