Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
