I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
