We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I am available for nakedness
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize