if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize