i just made my gag reflex go away.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Is it penis luge time yet?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
