I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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