I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize