She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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