Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
