The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
