I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
