The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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