For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
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