your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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