I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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