i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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