Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
