girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
