I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
