I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
