You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
