ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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