literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
