we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
They have beer where we have blood.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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