if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
