Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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