i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
