Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
