i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize